A New Year

2012. Wow that is actually pretty weird to process. Than means the nineties was two decades ago. To be honest I have not had the chance to really vocalize any resolutions that I have palnned for this new year. I know that I want to accomplish a lot of things, no that I want it to be great. After all, this is the 25th year that I have been a l I've and I think that should stand for something. I would love to become more established in my career, with a job that I love, I would love to be more artistic this year than I was last year. Make more art, whatever it may be. I want to finally take that pottery class that I said i was going to take in 2011. I want to get back into my work out regimen that I got derailed from since my surgery. Read a certain number of books, perhaps build some credit? Buy a car? Anything is possible. As it is already half way through January, I need to be a bit more organized as usual and try to map all oaf this out if that is even possible. I want to have Joy in my life, not just happiness. Happiness is a moment I believe, and can come and go within moments, but joy goes a little deeper than that. Joy is more of a state of mind and is everywhere, not just a moment. bring on 2012 I say! A short recap of the holidays and what not, AWESOME as usual. I love he holidays because of all the time that I spend with my family, and if at the end I feel a little overwhelmed, it was worth it. Christmas, my birthday, New Years, it's an ongoing charade that I love, just when you think it's over, there is something else to celebrate. Awe had lots of family parties starting with Thanksgiving, ugly sweater parties at the neighborhood bowling alley, The Nutcracker ballet at Capitol Theater, and the list goes on. Looking back now it's a little weird that it's all over...again. Yet another year come and gone, and time keeps flying by.

Pictures

A series of pictures to cover the last few months. In no particular order.

Unexpected

Isn't it funny how life throws you curve balls? I sure have had an interesting string of them in the last couple of months. Most of you who read my blog probably already know what has been going on in my personal life, but for those of you less fortunate(haha) let me enlighten you. I have been plagued since I was 15 with something called pilonidal cysts. Without going into too much detail, they are basically very painful deep cysts that form at the base if the spine in the "pilonidal" region. This means anywhere along your bottom crack(gross, I know). Anyway, I have had about four of them since I was 15, one treated by a painful process of lancing, draining, then repacking daily. Up until that point in my life I had never imagined pain like that. The next few times I had it, years later, I was lucky enough to have the infection go away by taking antibiotics. In 2011 I have already had a reoccurring cyst twice. Once in February while attending school, and most recently beginning in October. What awesome luck i have. After numerous doctor visits, I knew that in order to hopefully prevent this horrible thing from ever happening again I needed to go under the knife. I had put it off for too long out of fear, but this time it needed to happen.

So in the beginning if October I noticed the familiar pain, and I went into the dr. To get some antibiotics. Long story short, I was given the wrong antibiotics, cyst getting worse by the day, go back into different dr, get on right antibiotics, cyst getting bigger and more painful. If I were to describe the pain I would say it feels like there is 10 tons of weight pushing from the inside out, mixed with sharp stabbing pains every second. Forget about standing up straight, say goodbye to sitting down, no laying on your back, taking baths is painful and walking is even difficult. I had now discovered a new threshold of pain. About 2 weeks had passed at this point. The doc told me that unless the cyst can start draining on it's own, I would have to have it lanced and drained again, while awake, and repacked every day until it heals, which would probably take about a month. Then I could start thinking about surgery. Well luckily, a few days later It finally managed to start draining on It's own, and continued to do so for the next couple of days. With the right antibiotics I was on the mend.

It was now time to schedule a consult with a surgeon. To be honest, surgery terrifies me. The idea of giving up all control and trusting completely a group of perfect strangers with your life is pretty overwhelming. A week later I was on the operating table. The procedure entails cutting open the area, injecting dye into the infected tunnels and cutting all of the "bad" tissue out and suturing it back up. In mu case my incision is about six inches long and went all the way down to the bone.it wasn't until later when I looked up "pilonidal skin flap surgery" that I understood the enormity of what was done to me. Recovery was difficult, but I have such a wonderful mother who was willing to take care of me for days on end. Lots of pain meds and sleeping and laying down. I had about 10 large sutures and a drain sticking out if my but. Two weeks after the procedure those were removed. Life was pretty miserable, bit in my opinion trials can be blessings in disguise.

Currently I'm still healing, still getting used to the scar, but i would say I'm about 85% healed. Surgery is such a big deal and it's amazing to see what your body is capable of healing from. Two months later, one job later, and lots of thinking, I'm ready to get back into a "normal" routine. Bit I have to be grateful for this experience, even though I would not wish it on my worst enemy. It has taught me a lot about myself and has given me some new perspective in which I would not have gained otherwise.